"I Grow Through What I Go Through When I Choose To."

Growth doesn’t just happen - it requires a choice. In this episode of WORDS MATTER, Deanna Ley, The Catalytic Coach, shares the personal evolution of one of her most meaningful quotes: “I grow through what I go through when I choose to.”

Deanna dives into how adding “when I choose to” transformed the quote from passive to powerful, emphasizing the role of intentionality in growth. She also explores how shifting from why questions to what and how questions creates space for curiosity, action, and solutions.

Through relatable stories and practical tools, Deanna unpacks how this mindset shift can help us navigate challenges, release guilt and shame, and move forward with purpose.

What Listeners Will Learn:
• Why growth requires intentionality and curiosity.
• How why questions keep us stuck and what/how questions lead to clarity.
• The power of reframing inner dialogue to focus on solutions, not blame.
• Three practical steps to embrace curiosity and take action in difficult moments.
• How to transform obstacles into opportunities for growth.

Memorable Quotes:
• “Growth doesn’t just happen—it requires a choice.”
• “You grow through what you go through when you choose to.”
• “Curiosity takes judgment out of the equation and creates space for growth.”

This episode invites listeners to shift their mindset, reframe their challenges, and embrace the power of intentional growth.

Your WORDS MATTER, because YOU MATTER.

❤️❤️❤️

Transcript

Hello, hello friends, and welcome to yet another episode of WORDS MATTER. Today’s quote is one that I hold very close to my heart because I developed it myself out of sheer necessity: I grow through what I go through when I choose to.

Originally, the quote didn’t include those four words at the end—when I choose to. It simply stated, I grow through what I go through, and for months, it became the mantra I leaned on during all sorts of challenging times. It reminded me that the hard things I faced were not meant to break me. Nope, they were meant to shape me.

But over time, I realized something was missing. Growth doesn’t just happen because we go through hard things. It’s not automatic. It requires a choice—a conscious decision to move forward, to heal, to learn. That’s why I added when I choose to. Those four words shifted the quote from something passive to something intentional—a declaration of the power we have to choose growth.

This shift is also where curiosity came in. Did you know the questions we ask ourselves during challenging moments make a huge difference? Often, we default to why. Why is this happening to me? Why didn’t I see this coming? Why can’t I ever get this right? Why me? These why questions often pull us into guilt and shame, sending us down a rabbit hole of regret and remorse.

But when we shift from why questions to what or how questions, everything changes. Instead of saying, Why is this happening to me? you can choose to get curious and instead ask, What is this teaching me? What can I do right now to create a solution for this problem? How can I grow through this? These questions aren’t about assigning blame or finding fault.

They’re about creating an open space for curiosity and growth. What and how questions reframe the obstacles we face into opportunities to learn and move forward. They stop the spinning cycle of helplessness by opening the door to action and clarity.

This shift became incredibly real to me during one of the most challenging seasons of my life—when I chose to rebuild my relationship with food and, most importantly, my relationship with myself. For years, I felt trapped in a cycle of frustration and self-abuse, trying diet after diet and feeling like I was only failing. I constantly asked myself, Why can’t you get it together? Why do you keep making these choices? Why do you keep struggling?

The day everything changed was the day I changed my questions. I started asking myself, What are the patterns that are keeping me stuck? What can I do differently today that I didn’t do yesterday? How can I show up for myself in a way that supports me and the life I’m working to build instead of punishing me? These questions didn’t solve my problems overnight, but they shifted my perspective.

They allowed me to focus on solutions rather than problems, on growth rather than guilt.

So how can you make this shift for yourself? Let’s break it down into three practical steps:

1. Get curious about your patterns.
   When something feels overwhelming, instead of asking, Why do I always do this? try asking, What’s happening here? What’s going on? What’s triggering this reaction? Curiosity takes judgment out of the equation and allows you to see patterns in your behavior without the shame attached.
2. Reframe the stories you’re telling yourself.
   If your inner dialogue is saying, I’ll never figure this out, try instead asking, How can I approach this differently? What’s one small step I can take today to move forward? Reframing helps you shift your focus from what’s wrong to what’s possible.
3. Focus on action, not blame.
   When you face a challenge, resist the urge to ask, Why is this happening to me? Instead, ask, How can I respond to this? What’s one thing I can do to make progress? Action doesn’t have to be big—it just has to move you forward.

Let’s make this real. What’s something you’re facing right now that feels heavy, frustrating, or overwhelming? Instead of asking yourself why, reframe the question. Ask yourself, What is this situation teaching me? How can I choose to grow through this? What’s one small step I can take today to move forward?

When we choose curiosity over guilt, we create space for growth. We transform regret into reflection, blame into understanding, and shame into progress.

I’ll leave you with this today: Growth isn’t about being perfect or having it all figured out. It’s about choosing every day to move forward, even when it’s hard. Remember: You grow through what you go through when you choose to.

As always, the words we see, read, hear, and say about ourselves, what we’re doing, and how we’re doing it—all those words matter, friends, because you matter. Have a great day.