"You Are What You Do, Not What You Say You'll Do."

In this episode of WORDS MATTER, Deanna Ley, The Catalytic Coach, continues her powerful self-confidence series by introducing the second pillar: I WILL. 

Building on last week’s foundation of belief (I CAN), this episode focuses on turning belief into action—because confidence doesn’t come from intentions, it comes from PROOF.

Deanna explores the truth behind Carl Jung’s quote - "You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do." - and dives deep into the real reasons we struggle to follow through. From excuses disguised as self-care to the science behind action and motivation, this episode gives listeners practical tools to start building self-trust one small promise at a time.

What Listeners Will Learn:

• Why intentions don’t build confidence—actions do.
• How every choice you make is a vote for the kind of person you believe yourself to be.
• How excuses erode self-trust—and how to break the cycle.
• Why action creates motivation (not the other way around).
• How micro-commitments create undeniable proof that builds confidence brick by brick.
• Why confidence is built in the doing, not just in the believing.

Memorable Quotes:

• "You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do." — Carl Jung
• "If you WANT different, first you have to CHOOSE different, and then you have to DO different." — Deanna Ley
• "Intentions don’t build confidence. Proof does."
• "Our excuses are professional salespeople. They whisper sweet lies that sound like self-care."
• "You and your brain are always watching—and keeping score."
• "Action creates motivation."
• "The promise itself isn’t the point. The proof is the point."
• "Confidence isn’t built in what you meant to do. Confidence is built in what you actually did."
• "Confidence is built in the doing. Confidence is built in the proof."

This episode inspires listeners to step beyond belief and into action, building confidence through consistent follow-through and the power of proving to themselves that they are capable, trustworthy, and worth it.

Your WORDS MATTER because YOU MATTER.

❤️❤️❤️

Transcript

Hello, and welcome back! I am so excited that you're here for another episode of WORDS MATTER. Now, if you've been following along, you know we're right in the middle of a powerful new series on self-confidence—one that's not just about feeling better about yourself, but about becoming the kind of person that you can trust with your own dreams.

See, last week we stepped into our very first pillar— I CAN —and we talked about how confidence starts with belief. Belief in what's Possible, belief in our ability, belief in the truth that we are capable of far more than we've ever given ourselves credit for.

But belief alone isn’t enough, friends. And that's why today we step into the second pillar— I WILL —where belief becomes action.

That brings us to today’s quote:
"You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do." —Carl Jung

This quote doesn’t just land, friends—woo! It detonates. Because it’s a truth that we just can’t outrun. See, intentions don’t build confidence. Proof does. It’s not about what you say you want to be, or who you say you are, or who you hope to be that matters. It’s what you do—the choices you make when no one’s watching—that define you.

Confidence isn’t born from wishful thinking. Confidence is a byproduct of proof—the undeniable proof you create every single time you show up for yourself. Every time you follow through on something you said you would do, you cast a vote for the kind of person you believe yourself to be. You collect proof that you can be counted on.

And every time you don’t follow through, well, unfortunately, you collect proof of something else—that your word doesn’t mean much. That your promises to yourself are just suggestions.

This is exactly why so many people feel stuck in self-doubt. It’s not because they aren’t capable. It’s because they’ve slowly gathered a mountain of proof that they can’t be trusted to follow through. And that’s a gut punch truth we need to face, friends. You already have proof. The question is… proof of what?

Let’s talk about excuses for a second, because that’s where proof can really pile up.

We all know this dance—that inner negotiation—where you know exactly what you said you’d do, but then the excuses show up right on cue.
I’m too tired.
I’ll start tomorrow.
It’s been a hard day. I deserve a break.
Just this once won’t hurt.

See, our excuses? They’re professional salespeople. They whisper sweet lies that sound like self-care. They tell you quitting isn’t quitting, it’s just “rescheduling”… “postponing.” They remind you that nobody’s watching.

But here’s the kicker—you and that brain of yours? You’re always watching. You’re always keeping score. And every time you let your excuses win, you collect proof that your word is flexible.

And that’s how self-trust and confidence erode—not all at once, but brick by brick, one broken promise at a time.

This is where my own quote fits in like a missing puzzle piece:
"If you WANT different, first you have to CHOOSE different, and then you have to DO different."

See, the magic isn’t in the wanting. The magic isn’t even in the deciding. The magic is—and always will be—in the doing.

And science backs this up. We’ve been led to believe that willpower is the secret weapon—that if we could just muster up enough self-control, we’d finally follow through. But willpower? It’s a limited resource. It’s like a battery that drains all day long. Every decision, every temptation resisted, every time you have to argue with yourself—it all pulls from that same battery.

That’s why you can feel strong and focused in the morning, but by the end of the day, you’re negotiating with those excuses like they’re your best friend.

And of course, we have to talk about motivation—that slippery, unreliable thing we all wait for. Motivation is a feeling. And feelings are flighty. One minute you’re inspired, the next minute you couldn’t care less.

That’s why, friends, the real secret is this:
Action CREATES motivation.

That’s right—action first, motivation second. Science has proven that your brain releases dopamine—that feel-good chemical—when you take action. Dopamine fuels motivation.

That’s why putting on your workout shoes leads to the workout. That’s why writing the first sentence leads to finishing the project. That’s why starting the thing is the hardest—and most important—step.

Belief inspires action. Action creates momentum. And momentum creates proof. And proof creates confidence.

When you combine that with micro-commitments—those small daily choices that build up your self-trust—you’re no longer gambling on willpower or waiting endlessly for motivation. You’re building proof—the kind of proof that says, “I am someone who keeps their word.”

This is how ACTION FIRST beats willpower and motivation every single time.

I WILL is the bridge between belief and reality.

I WILL is where you stop waiting to feel ready and start proving to yourself that you are.

I WILL is where you stop negotiating with your excuses and start negotiating for your big, beautiful future.

I WILL is where your belief stops being a cute little idea and starts becoming undeniable proof.

Confidence isn’t built overnight. You don’t have to overhaul your whole life all at once. I’m not saying that, friends. I’m saying start small. Pick one promise—just one.

It could be drinking a glass of water first thing in the morning. Writing down three things you’re grateful for. Doing my ACE THE DAY activity. It could be going for a 10-minute walk or finally making that phone call you’ve been avoiding.

The promise itself isn’t the point. The proof is the point.

Because every follow-through is proof that you are trustworthy. Every action taken is proof that you are capable. Every small choice adds proof that your Possible is within reach.

Proof compounds. And that’s how you rebuild self-confidence—not by thinking about it or planning for it, but by proving to yourself day after day, choice after choice.

Because at the end of the day, confidence isn’t built on what you meant to do. Confidence is built on what you actually did.

And that’s what I WILL is all about. 

Every time you choose action over excuse—every time you show up instead of sit out—you’re proving:
You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.

And every time you follow through, you lay down one more brick on the path to the YOU you’ve always known could be.

Which brings me to this… Confidence isn’t a feeling you find. It’s a reality you CAN create—one small proof at a time.

So here’s your challenge:
Decide on your I WILL for today.
Write it down.
Say it out loud.
And then—DO IT.

And when you do, I want you to celebrate! Not because it was easy, but because it was proof. Proof that you’re the kind of person who follows through. Proof that you can trust yourself. Proof that confidence isn’t some distant dream or a choice you made just today.

Confidence is built in the doing. Confidence is built in the proof. And today, you GET TO choose both.

Friends, the words we see and read, the words we hear, and the words we say to ourselves and about ourselves—about what we’re doing and how we’re doing it—they all matter.

Your WORDS MATTER, because YOU MATTER.

I’ll see you next week as we dive into the next step in this confidence framework— I MUST —where we talk about the power of purpose and why your WHY matters more than you’ve ever realized.

Until then, go take action. Keep your promise. Prove yourself right.

YOU CAN. YOU WILL.
...and, you’re worth it.

Have a great day.