"The Words That Follow I AM Follow You."

In this episode of WORDS MATTER, Deanna Ley, The Catalytic Coach, explores the fourth pillar of self-confidence: I AM. While belief (I CAN), action (I WILL), and commitment (I MUST) create momentum, true confidence becomes effortless when your identity aligns with your actions.

Deanna dives deep into how the words we use to define ourselves shape our reality. If you’ve ever struggled with making progress only to fall back into old habits, it’s not because you weren’t strong enough—it’s because your identity is still tied to the past. To sustain lasting change, you must shift who you believe you are.

What Listeners Will Learn:

• Why identity is the missing piece of lasting confidence.
 • How your old identity can hold you back, even when you take action.
 • Why belief alone isn’t enough—your brain needs proof.
 • How to use the power of YET to reshape self-doubt.
 • A 5-step challenge to rewrite your I AM statements and back them with proof.
 • Why your proof, not just your words, shapes your self-image.

Memorable Quotes:

• "The words that follow I AM follow you. Choose carefully how you describe yourself." — Rock Thomas
• "We don’t act according to what we want. We act according to who we believe we are."
• "If you’re still seeing yourself as the old version of you, you will always return to that version."
• "Confidence isn’t built through words alone. It’s built through proof."
• "If you say I AM strong, but you skip your workouts every time you feel tired, your brain won’t believe you."
• "Your past does not define you—your proof does."
• "YET is the bridge between where you are and where you’re going. But YET only works if you follow it with action."
• "When you commit to owning your I AMs, back them with action, and refuse to let your past identity pull you back, you don’t just change your words—you shift your entire reality."

This episode challenges listeners to rewrite their I AM statements, back them with proof, and fully step into the identity that aligns with their goals. Because when your words, beliefs, and actions match who you want to be, confidence is no longer something you chase—it’s who you are.

Your WORDS MATTER because YOU MATTER.

❤️❤️❤️

Transcript

Well, hello friends, and welcome back to another episode of WORDS MATTER. 

Over the last few weeks, we've been building a very strong foundation for self-confidence. We started with keeping promises to ourselves and how important that is. Then we moved to I CAN - believing in what's possible. From there, we talked about I WILL - because confidence isn’t just belief, it’s action. Then we talked about I MUST - because belief and action alone, well, they aren’t enough. If we want unshakable self-confidence, our commitment to ourselves and our DEEP WHY must become non-negotiable. 

But we aren’t done yet. No matter how much belief, action, and commitment you build, you won’t sustain confidence if your identity isn’t congruent with it. Because at the end of the day, we don’t just act according to what we want.

We act according to who we believe that we are.

And that brings us to today’s quote:

“The words that follow I AM follow you.”

Speaker, coach, and author Rock Thomas said that, and he goes on to say:

“Choose carefully how you describe yourself.”

WOOOO! Take all of that amazingness in. In fact, just for good measure, I’m gonna say it all again...

“The words that follow I AM follow you. Choose carefully how you describe yourself.”

That quote—paired with that warning—is powerful.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in a cycle of progress and then setback, progress and then setback—if you’ve ever built momentum only to slide back into old habits, old patterns, old ways of thinking and behaving—I need you to hear me. You did not fail because you weren’t strong enough, or disciplined enough, or committed enough.

You kept getting set back because, deep down, you’re still trying to change your actions without changing who you believe that you are.

See, your old identity is gripping onto you, pulling you back. And until you fully shift into who you truly are—not just what you do—until you fully become the you that aligns with where you’re going—not with where you’ve been—you’ll keep fighting an uphill battle. And I don’t want that for you.

We can, I CAN, I WILL, and I MUST ourselves day after day.

But if we still see ourselves as the same person we were before, eventually we will become that person again. That’s a promise.

This is why so many people start strong only to slip back into their old ways of thinking, and eating, and behaving, and believing. They’re trying to act like someone new while they’re still believing they’re the same old person.

And this is where everything changes.

Because when you shift your identity—when you change what follows I AM—when you fully step into who you are becoming, confidence becomes effortless. But this isn't just about thinking positively.

It's about fundamentally rewiring how you see yourself at your core.

And I know what you might be thinking.

What if I don’t believe these new I AMs yet? What if it feels like I’m lying to myself? What if my past tells me I’ll never change?

I hear you, friend. I get it.

Because here’s the thing...

Identity is something you grow into.

You can't just "Stuart Smalley" your way through life—"I'm good enough. I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me."—and expect it to stick.

Your brain needs proof—tangible, undeniable proof—that supports this new identity you're building.

And this is where so many people get stuck.

They think if they just repeat something enough times, it will magically become true.

But confidence doesn’t work that way.

Because belief without action is just wishful thinking.

And we know that confidence is built through proof.

It starts with belief—I CAN. It moves into action—I WILL. It solidifies with deep commitment—I MUST. And when you back it all with proof, it finally becomes who you are—I AM.

And this is how you break free from old patterns and step into the person you're meant to be.

Now, if you say, I AM strong, but every time you feel tired, you skip your workout, your brain's just not going to believe you. If you say, I AM disciplined, but you let distractions pull you off course, your identity is not going to shift. If you say, I AM someone who follows through, but you constantly break promises to yourself, your subconscious will cling to those old patterns.

And when doubt creeps in? When that old identity tries to pull you back? Well, that’s when the power of YET changes everything. Yep! YET. Every time you catch yourself saying, I'm not good at this, add one simple word. YET.

I'm not strong enough... YET.

I'm not consistent... YET.

I don't have self-control... YET.

YET is the bridge between where you are and where you’re going. But here’s the thing, YET is only powerful if you follow it with proof. If you say, I'm not strong enough YET, then what small action can you take today to build the proof that strength is developing?

If you say, I don't have self-control YET, what decision can you make today to prove to yourself that you are growing?

Because this isn’t just about words. I know, I know WORDS MATTER, for sure. But this is about rewiring your brain FOR confidence.

See, this is exactly what I coach every member of my CORE4 Community in my I CHOOSE ME Challenge. There's an entire day inside that Challenge devoted to these two powerful words. Because when we rewrite our I AMs—choose words that shape our identity and stack proof, proof after proof after proof every single day—we don’t just shift how we think, we shift who we are.

So here’s your challenge. It’s the same one that I give my I CHOOSE ME Challengers.

1. Write down ten I AM statements that are congruent with the person you are—not a role that you have—but the truth of who you are at your core.
2. Back each one of those I AMs with proof—real, tangible examples of how these show up in your daily life.
3. Say them out loud every morning. Do it in a mirror, just like Stuart Smalley, for the most amount of impact.
4. Write them on Post-It notes and post them where you’ll see them—on a mirror, on your desk, on your fridge, in your car... Everywhere.
5. End each day by asking, what did I do today that proves my identity—these I AMs—to be true?

And if you don’t fully believe them yet, just keep stacking the proof, friends. You’ll get there. I promise you that.

Because the more proof you build, the harder it becomes to doubt yourself.

Here are a few of my I AMs, backed by my proof, as an example of what I want you to do.

I AM creative. I have proven time and time again that I can create something out of nothing—that I can bring ideas to life.
I AM resourceful. I’m a researcher, which allows me to create space for learning so that I can then use that to help others.
I AM smart. I have an innate ability to figure things out. Where some see obstacles, I see opportunities.
I AM optimistic. I see the best in people. I want the best for people. I see the good and the possibilities where others may not see it in themselves.
I AM resilient. With all I have been through, I have proven that I can withstand massive trauma and drama and still stand tall.
I AM unique. I celebrate all that makes me different.

Know this…

When you commit to owning your I AMs, back them with action, and refuse to let your past identity pull you back, you don’t just change your words—you shift your entire reality.

Because “The words that follow I AM follow you.”

And what follows you?

A stronger, more confident, unstoppable YOU.

One who believes, who takes action, who refuses to quit—because you don’t just hope for confidence anymore. Nope.

You own it.

And that’s—WOOOO—that’s when life changes.

Friends, the words we see and read, the words we hear, and the words we say to ourselves and about ourselves—they all matter.

Your WORDS MATTER, because YOU MATTER.

You believe because YOU CAN.
 You take action because YOU WILL.
 You are deeply committed to your WHY because YOU MUST.
 You fully own your identity and all that you are becoming because YOU ARE.

And next week, we’ll step into recognizing everything you’ve already done.

Because when everything gets challenged—and it will—your proof is what reminds you of who you are and what you’re capable of.

Your wins. Your lessons. Your resilience.

See, next week we chat all about I DID.

Have a great day.