“’NO’ Is A Complete Sentence.”

In this episode of WORDS MATTER, Deanna Ley, The Catalytic Coach, explores five simple words that carry massive weight: “NO is a complete sentence.” Often credited to Anne Lamott and echoed by countless women over the years, this quote holds the power to shift your boundaries, your energy, and your peace.

Deanna shares her own journey from people-pleasing and overcommitting to finding a deeper connection with herself—one NO at a time. If you’ve ever said YES when you meant NO, this episode is your invitation to pause and re-evaluate. Not out of guilt. But out of presence, power, and self-trust.

What Listeners Will Learn:
• Why every dishonest YES is a quiet NO to yourself
• How people-pleasing starts early—and how to break the cycle
• The difference between saying NO to build walls vs. saying NO to build self-respect
• Why honoring your capacity is a radical form of self-care
• How to start building self-trust through small, honest choices
• A weekly challenge to practice one grounded NO

Memorable Quotes:
• “NO is a complete sentence.”
• “Every YES that isn't honest is a quiet NO to yourself.”
• “Saying YES when you actually mean NO isn’t kindness – it’s conditioning.”
• “You don’t have to wrap your NO in guilt, apologies, or justifications.”
• “Your YESes mean more when they are grounded in YOU.”
• “NO is not a rejection. It’s a declaration.”

This episode is an empowering reminder that protecting your peace doesn’t require permission or explanation. It requires presence, practice, and a deep belief that your time and energy are worth protecting.

Your WORDS MATTER, because YOU MATTER.

❤️❤️❤️

Transcript

Well, hello friends and welcome back to another episode of WORDS MATTER.

While this week's quote is often attributed to Anne LaMott, she wasn't the first - and definitely not the only one - to say it. Versions of this quote have been echoed by the likes of Shonda Rhimes, Carol Burnett, Susan Newman, and others throughout the years. While the wording may vary, the meaning stays very much the same. Five words. And they hold weight.

"'NO' is a complete sentence."

Woohoo, right?

I'm sure you've heard it before. Maybe it stuck. Maybe it stung. Because while the sentence is short, the message isn't always easy to live out.

Now, if you've been following this podcast over the last few months - through the confidence series and more recently when we talked about what happens when you follow someone else's map - this might feel like the next right step. Because once you begin noticing the places where you've lost your footing or veered off your path, the natural question is... 

Now what? 

How do you begin to take your power back? 

How do you start choosing differently - and doing differently?

Well, sometimes friends, it begins with NO.

See, I grew up in a world where NO always needed a reason. And a good one. One that made sense to the other person. I was taught directly and indirectly that being easy to be around mattered. That being helpful, agreeable, and available made me valuable.

And that if I wanted to be liked, needed, or chosen, I HAD to say YES. So I said it. Even when I didn't mean it. YES to responsibilities that weren't mine. YES to plans I didn't want to make. YES to expectations I never agreed to. YES to diets and business strategies and people-pleasing patterns that looked admirable, but left me depleted.

After enough of those YESes, I started to feel it. Not all at once, but little by little. The exhaustion. The resentment. The ache of knowing I was drifting further and further away from what I actually needed. From me.

What I've learned is this...

Every YES that isn't honest is a quiet NO to yourself.

And those quiet NOs add up. You lose time. You lose trust in yourself. You lose the space you need to breathe and think and heal. And we often talk about burnout as a result of doing too much. But for me? The real burnout came from doing too much that didn't belong to me.

So I began the slow - and sometimes very difficult work - of learning to say NO. Not as a way to build walls, and for sure not to prove a point. But to begin rebuilding something I had lost... a deep connection to myself.

And that wasn't easy. There was guilt. Second-guessing. There was a voice inside me that worried I was being rude or selfish or difficult or too much.

But there was also a quieter voice that I was learning to listen to. One that whispered, "This isn't yours to carry." And I had a choice to make - keep disappointing myself or risk disappointing others.

Saying YES when you actually mean NO isn't kindness, friends, it's conditioning. And it's a pattern that often starts early when we learn to stay quiet, agreeable, small - in order to stay safe.

Your nervous system holds the lessons, so of course it feels uncomfortable to say NO. Of course it feels unfamiliar. But unfamiliar doesn't mean wrong. It just means new. And new takes practice.

And that's where this quote becomes more than just a clever phrase. It becomes a reminder that we're allowed to say NO - and that that's enough. It's not being abrupt or unkind. It's about honoring your limits - your capacity.

You don't owe anyone an explanation in order for your boundaries to be real. You can give context if you choose to, but you don't have to wrap your NO in layers of guilt, apologies, or justifications. Especially when that NO is coming from a place of self-care. Care for your time, your health, your entire well-being.

And what happens when you start doing that? Well, yeah, things begin to shift. You start showing up differently, and your time and your energy begin to feel like your own again. Your relationships reflect more truth and less obligation.

And maybe - most importantly - your YESes mean more because they're honest and chosen and grounded... in YOU.

So here's the reflection for this week... something to sit with:

• Where are you still saying YES out of habit?
• And what would it look like to pause just long enough to notice whether that YES is even yours to give?
• What part of you is ready for a different response? Not from pressure, but from presence.

See, you don't have to swing the pendulum from saying YES to everything to saying NO to everyone. You're allowed to start small. So maybe this is the week that you choose one NO. One NO where you honor your limits without apology. One NO where you protect what matters even if it doesn't matter to anyone else.

One moment where you make peace with your decision - not with their reaction.

Because this is how self-trust is built, friends. Not in big dramatic moments - but in small honest choices that are a hundred percent YOU.

Because NO is not a rejection. It's a declaration. A declaration that your time, your energy, and your peace matter. Not just in theory, but in how you live.

It's how you say, "I'm not available to carry what doesn't belong to me anymore."

It's a line drawn - not to shut people out, but to come back home to yourself.

Because you're finally ready to treat your whole-self like you actually matter.
Because you know you do.
And that knowing?
That's the YOU you owe it to yourself to be.

Friends, the words we see and read, the words we hear, and the words we say to ourselves and about ourselves - about what we're doing and how we're doing it - they all matter.

Your WORDS MATTER, because YOU MATTER.

Have a great day.