"I Deal With It, So I Can Heal With It."

This week on WORDS MATTER, Deanna Ley, The Catalytic Coach, shares a quote that didn’t come from a book or a podcast — but from the raw middle of her own healing journey:

“I deal with it, so I can heal with it.” 

Born from lived experience, this mantra isn’t about moving from pain — it’s about moving with it. In this episode, Deanna invites listeners to stop abandoning themselves in the struggle and instead, learn how to be with what hurts — with honesty, compassion, and deep self-devotion.

She brings in a powerful metaphor from wildlife photographer Michael Hodges: the bison. Known for facing storms head-on instead of running from them, the bison becomes a living picture of what healing actually looks like — steady, rooted, present.

What Listeners Will Learn:
• Why healing isn’t about escape — it’s about presence
• The difference between fixing and walking with what hurts
• How curiosity becomes a gateway to healing
• What it means to “BE THE BISON” in real-life moments
• Why impulses are signals, not shame
• How to stop abandoning yourself — and start walking with yourself, instead

Memorable Quotes:
• “I deal with it, so I can heal with it.” – Deanna Ley
• “Healing didn’t happen when I finally escaped what hurt. Healing happened when I chose to stop abandoning myself in the middle of it.”
• “Facing a storm shortens the storm. Running from it only prolongs the pain.”
• “BE THE BISON.”
• “That impulse isn't weakness. It's a signal. It's your body saying, ‘Something needs attention.’”
• “Healing is not about arriving. It's about returning — over and over and over — to the part of you that refuses to give up.”

This episode is a truth-telling, storm-facing, soul-honoring invitation to stay. To listen. To return. Not perfectly — but wholly. With compassion, with courage, and yes — with bison-like strength.

Your WORDS MATTER, because YOU MATTER.

Here's Michael's video that inspired today's WORDS: https://www.facebook.com/share/v/14Hi8zQskUj/

❤️❤️❤️

Transcript

Hi there, friends. Welcome back to another episode of WORDS MATTER. There's a quote I've been saying for a few years now. A truth that I didn't learn from a book or a podcast. I didn't see it posted online. It came to me in the middle of the hardest kind of honesty. You know, the kind where you stop running from what hurts – and start turning toward it.

The kind where the old way doesn't work anymore – and the new way hasn't taken shape yet. It came when I looked at myself – all of myself – and chose to stay.

"I deal with it, so I can heal with it."

I shared that quote in last week's episode, almost like a passing thought. But even as I said it, I felt the weight of it settle again. Because this isn't just a quote I carry, it's a truth I live. And if you're walking through something right now – something you've been trying to avoid or downplay or muscle past – I want to offer you this as a way through. Not because it's easy, but because it's real.

Now let's talk about that word "with." Notice I didn't say I heal "from" it. Because that kind of healing is about distance. About something being behind you, resolved, or finished. But there are parts of us that just don't disappear. Wounds that leave residue. Experiences that leave echoes.

And for me, healing didn't happen when I finally escaped what hurt. Healing happened when I chose to stop abandoning myself in the middle of it.

See, I had to learn to walk with it. To sit with it. To breathe with it. To stop trying to conquer it, and instead? Let it speak.

Now my shift happened inside of my health journey. A journey that's been physical, emotional, spiritual – all of it. All at once. And there were years for me when discipline meant control. Years when I used food to avoid what I didn't want to feel. Years when guilt and shame took the wheel, and all I knew how to do was to try harder.

But never kinder.

And then something changed.

I stopped asking myself, "Why do I keep acting this way?" And instead started asking, "What happened that made this feel necessary?" And then "What do I need right now?" And that's when my healing began. Not in the absence of pain, but in my willingness to be in its presence. Without punishment.

And that's where this story – this image – comes in.

A while back, I saw a video posted by Michael Hodges on Facebook. He's a wildlife photographer who's spent years capturing animals in their natural environment. In late 2023, he shared footage from a blizzard in Yellowstone National Park. The snow was thick. The wind was brutal. The sound... it was the kind of storm that strips away anything that isn't essential.

And in the middle of it? Stood a bison. Not turning away. Not retreating. Just facing it.

Michael explained in that post – something I didn't know – that bison are believed to be the only animals who instinctively turn into the storm.

See, most animals try to outrun it. They move with the wind hoping to escape.

But the bison? Nope. The bison moves into it.

And it's not just bravery. It's biology. It's wisdom in motion, if you think about it.

See, facing a storm shortens the storm. Running from it only prolongs the pain.

And as Michael filmed, his lens froze, his fingers stung from the cold, and his tripod nearly toppled in the wind, and there? Stood the bison. Steady. Grounded. Unwavering. Doing what it knew how to do.

And Michael says something that has stayed with me:

"We should always follow the bison's lead, to take what life gives you head on. Because the bison knows how to shorten the storm. And then it heads for the light."

That whole thing, it just hasn't left me – because that, my friends, is what healing looks like.

You want to heal? BE THE BISON. Not just in theory. Not just as a nice idea.

I mean in real moments of your life.

In the conversations you keep avoiding. In the choices you keep postponing. In the feelings you keep numbing. And in the truths you haven't spoken – even to yourself.

BE THE BISON when your inner critic starts to whisper that you'll never get it right.

BE THE BISON when the scale says something that tries to undo your self-worth.

BE THE BISON when the people around you don't understand the changes you're trying to make.

And BE THE BISON when everything inside of you says, "It would be easier to go back to what I know."

And that storm you're in? You don't have to wait it out. You don't have to outrun it. You were meant to face it. To walk through it. To come out on the other side.

Not the same. But stronger. Clearer. Lighter.

So how do you do that?

Well, it starts with a pause. Just one moment where you catch yourself reaching for something to numb the discomfort.

Food. Scrolling. Isolation. Anger. Whatever it is… See it.

That impulse isn't weakness. It's a signal. It's your body saying, "Something needs attention."

And instead of asking, "Why do I always do this?" ask "What's happening in me right now?"

That's a question rooted in curiosity. And curiosity is the gateway to healing.

See, curiosity doesn't judge. It listens. It creates space.

And where curiosity is, shame cannot exist.

Then – stay. Stay as long as you need to. Long enough to hear your own answer.

Maybe it's grief. Maybe it's fear. Or loneliness. Or disappointment. Or shame.

You don't have to fix it. You don't have to wrestle it into something better.

You just have to be willing to bear witness to it. To let it speak. To walk with it instead of against it.

Because this is the truth most people won't tell you:

Healing is not about arriving. It's about returning – over and over and over – to the part of you that refuses to give up.

That's the bison inside of you.

The one that says, "I will not run. I will not hide. I will not turn away."

And that part of you is strong, even if your knees are shaking.

That part of you is wise, even if you feel lost.

And that part of you is ready, even if the storm looks dark.

So today I want to remind you...

You don't have to wait for better conditions.

You don't have to wait to feel brave.

You don't have to wait until someone else understands.

You get to turn – right now – and face it.

You get to BE THE BISON.

You get to shorten the storm.

And you get to head for the light.

I'll be walking with my healing, friends. Just like I always do. And I want to be right beside you.

Because we have a lot of life to live still.

Let’s live it together.

Friends, the words we see and read, the words we hear, and the words we say to ourselves and about ourselves – about what we’re doing and how we’re doing it – they all matter.

Your WORDS MATTER, because YOU MATTER. 

BE THE BISON.

And I’ll see you in the storm.

Have a great day.