“Discipline Your Disappointment.”

This week on WORDS MATTER, Deanna Ley, The Catalytic Coach, shares the powerful practice that’s been holding her steady through canceled plans, unexpected injuries, and life’s endless detours. This episode is a heartfelt invitation to feel your letdowns, but not hand them the pen to write your story.

“Discipline your disappointment.” — Tony Robbins

From a 30th anniversary Grand Canyon dream that couldn’t happen to the reminder that life is always happening for us, this episode explores how disappointment is really just the gap between expectation and reality, and how disciplining it can change everything.

What Listeners Will Learn:
• Why disappointment is inevitable, but staying stuck is optional
• How to reframe setbacks as self-love and protection for your future self
• The three-step practice Deanna uses to discipline disappointment
• Why life’s detours can become new adventures
• How to move forward when everything in you wants to stop

Memorable Quotes:
• “Discipline your disappointment.” — Tony Robbins
• “Disappointment is inevitable. But staying stuck? That's optional.”
• “Life is always happening for us, not to us.” — Tony Robbins
 • “Discipline can be the highest form of self-love.”
• “I refuse to let this setback define me. I will not hand the pen of my story to disappointment.”
• “Don’t let the let down be your leader.”
• “Every time we choose to discipline our disappointment, we choose to believe in something bigger than the setback.”

Disappointment doesn’t get to define the next chapter. You do. This episode will remind you that when you feel it, name it, and frame it, you reclaim the power to keep moving toward the life you want.

Your WORDS MATTER, because YOU MATTER.

❤️❤️❤️

Transcript

Well, hey there friends. Welcome back to another episode of WORDS MATTER. Now, if you've been with me since the early days of this podcast, you might remember Episode #9, "Detach from the outcome. Attach to the progress."

In that episode, I shared a quote from Tony Robbins that's been echoing in my heart ever since.

The quote is, "Discipline your disappointment."

Even as I said it back then, I knew it deserved an episode of its own. And after these last few months of my life being super lifey — the setbacks, the delays, the detours — I really can't think of a better time to talk about it than right now. Because disappointment is inevitable, right, friends? But staying stuck? Well, that's optional.

Learning to discipline your disappointment can change the way that you move through life. So let's talk about what started my whole thought pattern on this quote again. See, Chris and I have been planning for nearly two years to hike the Rim-to-Rim Trail inside of the Grand Canyon. It felt like the perfect way to celebrate 30 years of our marriage — something challenging, unforgettable, and super meaningful.

We were all set to do it in September of this year. We decided not to fly. We were going to drive, making that all a part of our 30th anniversary adventure. We had our route mapped out. We had our lodging figured out. We had our gear picked out. Our dream was going to happen.

Until it wasn't.

See, in April I hurt my back. And in that moment, I could feel the disappointment. You know the kind. The one that steals your breath and makes you question, “WHY NOW?”

Then a couple of weekends ago, I read the news that the Dragon Bravo Fire had destroyed the Grand Canyon Lodge and dozens of historic structures all along the North Rim. The North Rim is closed for the rest of this year. And all the inner canyon trails — including the very ones we would have hiked — as of the recording of this podcast, they're closed indefinitely, too.

I just sat there reading that news. Stunned.

What we would have done we couldn't have done, not even if we tried. And in that still moment, Tony Robbins' other teaching landed on me in a way that it never had before:

"Life is always happening for us, not to us."

And here's the thing about disappointment. It's just a gap. The gap between expectation and reality, filled with the meaning that we assign it. And discipline? That's how we reclaim our power in that gap.

We often think of disappointment as a punishment or a restriction, but that doesn't have to be it, friends. Discipline can be the highest form of self-love. It's the choice to care for your future self even when your present self is hurting.

It's saying, "I refuse to let this setback define me. I will not hand the pen of my story to disappointment."

To discipline your disappointment means that you don't let it become the leader. You don't let the letdown write the next chapter of your story.

I've had plenty of practice in this lately, friends. I've had to discipline my disappointment a lot.

One health issue after another. First my back, then my frozen shoulder, TMJ, a rib that wouldn't stay that turned into costochondritis, which led me to tweaking my back again. I have this constant sense that there aren't enough hours in the day, especially to connect with the people who mean the most to me. Thinking my first book, ROOTED: Your 30-Day Journey Toward Whole-Self Health, would be ready to launch August 1st, only to realize that editing takes a lot longer than you hope. And even the summer heat here in St. Louis has everything outdoors feeling like a battle against heat stroke.

Now I could for sure camp out in all of that disappointment. I can for sure let it become my story. But disciplining my disappointment means that I'm committed to doing three things — and you can do these three things, too.

First, I feel it. I name it. And then I frame it. I refuse to ignore my disappointment or to sugarcoat it. I let myself feel it. I give it a name, and then I reframe it.

I ask, "If life is happening for me, what could this be protecting or preparing me for?"

Then, number two, I shift to what I can control. I can't control fires or closures. I can't control the speed in which my body heals. But I can control my response. I can focus on planning something new, tending to my health, and keeping my mind in a place of gratitude.

And number three, I can choose to move forward. When the disappointment of not being able to hike the Grand Canyon happened, we had a long conversation and chose to replace it with something we could look forward to. So the new plan — our #EPIC30 — it's become a living reminder that life is still filled with adventure.

We have it planned. It's happening. Seventeen days. Eight states. Five national parks. Over 3,100 miles we'll be driving. Badlands. Wind Cave. Theodore Roosevelt. Yellowstone. Grand Teton. Prairie dogs. Geysers. Big skies. And small-town coffee shops. I am ready.

So here's what I want you to remember. Don't let the letdown be your leader. Feel it. Honor it. But don't hand it the pen to write the next chapter of your story. "Discipline your disappointment." It's the highest form of self-love. It keeps your heart soft when life feels harsh.

And it keeps you moving when everything in you wants to stop. Because life will hand us detours, friends. There will be canceled trips, missed milestones, delayed dreams, and seasons where nothing seems to go as planned. But every time we choose to discipline our disappointment, we choose to believe in something bigger than the setback. We choose to see life as happening for us, instead of to us.

And that's where our story shifts. That's where healing happens. And that's where hope lives.

Friends, the words we see and read, the words we hear, and the words we say to ourselves and about ourselves — about what we're doing and how we're doing it — they all matter.

Your WORDS MATTER, because YOU MATTER.

Have a great day.